Recently, a dentist in Roseville turned his front garden into a vegetable patch. It was almost scandalous, because he didn’t have a hedge, a magnolia tree or a lawn. He actually made use of his garden. It got me thinking; why does nearly every house in the North Shore have a hedge in the garden?

Who is the authority on a topic like this? I couldn’t be bothered actually finding one, so I decided on an imaginary one: Professor Sprout, from Harry Potter. In our interview, she smiles at me fondly and says: ”the answer to your question is …” but before she answers, she pulls a screaming mandrake out of a pot and I end up in the hospital wing. Because I was listening intently, instead of wearing the safety ear mufflers, the damage is bad. But the damage, like the interview, is imaginary, so don’t worry, I’m not hurt.

Is everyone on the North Shore trying make their gardens look palatial? Is everyone so pretentious that they need to look as if they are above having a workable garden? Why are we so boxed in?

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